Boarding is the single decision on which affluent families disagree most, and the disagreement is often between the parents. One was sent away at eight and loved it, or hated it; the other never boarded and cannot imagine it. Both are arguing from their own childhood, which is the least useful evidence available. The useful evidence is the child in front of you and the schools that exist now, which are not the schools of 1990.
What boarding is today
Full boarding in 2026 means a house of fifty to seventy children with a housemaster or housemistress who lives in with their family, a matron, tutors who see each child weekly, a school nurse and a counsellor, a phone policy, Saturday school and Sunday chapel at the traditional schools, and holidays at home every three to four weeks. Flexi and weekly boarding, where the child comes home on Saturday, are widespread in Britain and unknown in Switzerland and America. The food is good. The beds are not.
Eleven, thirteen or sixteen
The English system offers three entries. At eleven, into a senior school with a lower school, or into a prep school that boards until thirteen. At thirteen, the classic Common Entrance point, into the great schools. At sixteen, into the sixth form, which suits families who want the day years at home and the last two years with the network and the university machine.
Eleven suits children who are sociable, settled and academically confident, and it makes the thirteen-plus entry less of a cliff. Thirteen is the majority route and the age at which most children can look after their own kit, their own timetable and their own friendships. Sixteen suits late developers, families who moved late and children who need a fresh start. The Swiss schools take boarders from eight to ten but most families begin at twelve to fourteen; the American academies begin at fourteen.
Is the child ready?
Readiness has little to do with age and a great deal to do with four things. Does the child manage a night away from home without a phone call at ten o'clock? Can they organise themselves for a school day: kit, homework, timetable? Do they make friends easily or at least reliably? And do they want to go? A child who is curious about boarding, who has visited and liked it, who has a sibling or a friend there, will settle in a term. A child who is being sent to solve a problem at home will not.
The house, not the school
Families choose the school and then discover that the house is what matters. The housemaster sets the tone, the house sets the friendships and a bad house at a great school is a bad experience. Visit the house, meet the housemaster, ask the older pupils what they would change, and if the school lets you express a preference, do. At Eton, Harrow and Radley the house system is the school; at the Swiss institutes the houses are smaller and the school is the unit.
The alternatives
Day schools with a boarding house, like Westminster, Sevenoaks or Collège du Léman, let a child board for a year or two and come home. Weekly boarding at schools within an hour of home gives the week to the school and the weekend to the family. Neither is a compromise; both are what most families in Britain now do.
What it costs
Full boarding at the English schools now costs 55,000 to 65,000 pounds a year, at the Swiss institutes 90,000 to 160,000 francs, at the German boarding schools 40,000 to 50,000 euros. Over seven years, with extras and inflation, that is 500,000 to over a million euros per child. The Education Cost Calculator shows the total; the School Finder shows what it buys.
The conversation
Whatever you decide, decide it with the child, at least a year ahead, and visit at least three schools together. Say what you are hoping for and listen to what the child is afraid of. Boarding done with a child is one of the great gifts of a privileged childhood. Boarding done to a child is what the novels are about.
