The villa is the default holiday of the affluent family: three generations, two weeks, one house. The brochures show the pool at sunset and the table set for twelve. They do not show the unfenced drop from the terrace, the kitchen that has no kettle, the road to the beach that takes forty minutes, or the fact that the housekeeper leaves at two. Before you book, ask the agent these questions and insist on written answers.
The house
- Is the pool fenced, gated or alarmed? Can it be? What is the depth at the shallow end, and is there a shallow end?
- Are there stairs without gates, terraces without railings, a drop to the sea?
- Which bedrooms are on the same floor as the master, and which have baths rather than showers?
- Is there air conditioning in every bedroom, and does it work in August?
- Is there a cot, a high chair, a stair gate and a car seat, or must we bring them?
- What is the Wi-Fi speed, measured, in the room the teenagers will occupy?
- Is there a television, and can it show the football?
The staff
- Who is included: housekeeper, cook, gardener, pool man? Which hours, which days?
- Can a cook be added for dinner, a nanny for mornings, a driver? At what rate?
- Does the housekeeper live on site? Does anyone speak the family's language?
- Who is the contact at two in the morning when the power fails?
The location
- How many minutes, by car, to a sandy beach with shade, to a supermarket, to ice cream, to a good restaurant that takes children?
- How many minutes to a hospital with a paediatric department, and to an English-speaking doctor?
- Is there a boat, a jetty, a mooring? Can a boat and a skipper be arranged?
- Is there a tennis court, a table-tennis table, bicycles, a football goal?
- What is the noise: a road, a bar, a building site next door this summer?
The season
Every destination has a month when the villa is perfect and a month when it is not. Mallorca and Sardinia in May and late September, not August. Tuscany and Provence in June and September. The Alps in July and August for hiking. The Family Trip Matcher has the months for twenty-four destinations, and the rule for the youngest child: under three, short flight, shade and a cook; over twelve, a boat and other teenagers.
The contract
Read it. The deposit, the damage waiver, the cancellation terms, the maximum occupancy, whether a party is allowed, whether the pool is heated, whether the price includes the staff, the linen change and the electricity. Villas in the south of Europe charge for electricity in August, and air conditioning for twelve for two weeks is a four-figure surprise.
The arrival
Arrive in daylight. Walk the house with the children before the bags are unpacked: the pool rules, the terraces, the stairs. Find the first-aid kit, the fuse box and the fire extinguisher. Meet the housekeeper properly, with the children, and agree the hours. Then open the wine.
The best villa holidays have a rhythm: the cook does dinner, the parents do lunch, the children do the pool, the grandparents do the shade, and one day in three the whole family leaves the house. Villas that make the rhythm possible are the ones worth the price, and the questions above are how to find them.
