The christening, the naming ceremony, the brit milah, the blessing: whatever the family's tradition, the first ceremony of a child's life produces the first gifts, and they are the only gifts the child will not remember receiving. That is the test. A christening gift is chosen for the adult the child will become, and the best ones are recognisable at eighteen as something somebody thought about.
Silver
The christening cup, the spoon, the rattle, the napkin ring: silver has been the christening gift of Europe for four hundred years because it lasts, it can be engraved and it is used. A cup with the child's initials and the date, from a good silversmith, costs 400 to 2,000 euros and will stand on a mantelpiece for a century. Antique silver, from a dealer or the family's own cupboard, is better still and often cheaper. Have it engraved on the base; the child will read it one day.
Written
A first edition of a children's classic, a facsimile of the family's oldest book, a bible or a book of poems with an inscription on the flyleaf, or a letter, sealed, to be opened at eighteen. The letter costs nothing and is the gift most often mentioned by adults who received one. Godparents who write one a year, on the birthday, and keep them in a box, have given the child a biography by the time they leave home.
Growing
A tree, planted on the family land or in the grandparents' garden, with a small plaque and a photograph every year. A case of wine or port from the birth year, laid down for the eighteenth or the twenty-first. A savings plan, a small share portfolio or a contribution to the junior fund; the Junior Fund Simulator shows what 5,000 euros at birth becomes by twenty-one, and it is a surprising number. A share in something the family owns, a hectare of vines, a beehive, a stake in the boat, works if the child will grow up around it.
What to avoid
Anything the parents will have to store for eighteen years and will not use: the christening dress that was never worn again, the crystal, the ornate frame. Anything with a fashion in it. And anything so expensive that it embarrasses the other godparents; the christening is not an auction.
How much
Godparents spend 150 to 1,500 euros, grandparents whatever they wish, friends 50 to 200. The amount is less noticed than the thought, the engraving and the follow-through: the godparent who turns up, remembers birthdays and takes the child to lunch at fourteen has given more than any cup.
And for the parents
A photographer for the day, a night away in the first three months, a maternity nurse for a week: the gifts to the parents are the ones they will remember best, and nobody else thinks of them. The Gift Finder lists the christening and newborn ideas by budget.
